I wonder if all people have the experience of waking up in the morning and knowing that their day is going to turn out badly. I have been having a lot of these mornings lately. Anyways I don’t want to scare the person who accidentally stumbled on to this page by elaborating the various complex emotions that run through my dying brain. I just wanted to speak about two things going on in my life or rather one thing and one incident that happened today (written on Thursday, 2nd august, 2007) .
As you may or may not know I am currently 19years and I shaved for the first time in my life (I know its lame) on Monday (30th of July, 2007). Now let me be honest with you, my face is probably the most ugliest thing in this planet and my mustache made it look 0.1% more bearable. I don’t know why but I shaved my mush and I look horribly weird! I am feeling very under confident (not that I have an awful lot of confidence to star off with). Its really starting to take its toll on me. I really hope this thing grows back, FAST! You people may declare me a mad man but I am avoiding my friends because I look even more miserable now than compared to before. I really don’t want to see anyone until my mush grows or to be more precise I don’t want them to see me until my mush grows back. I know its stupid but I just feel horribly conscious. Its like everybody is staring at me with a disgusted look that says, “where the hell did he come from? . . . The gutter?! ? I ‘hide’ during the lunch break so that nobody sees my horrible face and loses their appetite. Today one of my friends forced me to come out for lunch with him (he already saw me cause we sit together in English class). So reluctantly I went with him to a restaurant (I made it explicitly clear that I didn’t want to sit in the canteen area because most of my friends eat there lunch there). After we finish our meal I remembered I needed to get my id card done (which was suppose to be done one and half months ago!). The next 15mim was absolute chaos; we spent all our time arguing and then finally plotted out the best route to take (so that I could get to the office undetected). Luckily for me none of my friends saw me (at least I hope they didn’t see me). I finally managed to get my id card stamped and signed. Now all I needed to do was to take it to the library and make my lib card. I was suppose to make my lib card one year ago but I of course, live in another planet and therefore in a different time zone itself so the taught of making a lib card occurred to me only now (well actually I almost got it done last year itself, it’s a lengthy story and I may tell you guys later).
I walk into the lib and ask the first gentlemen sitting at the counter. He first asked me some questions and when he learned that I was a second year student he immediately enquired about the lib card I had last year! To save myself from the humiliation of telling him I never made a lib card I told him a white lie about how I lost it. He along with the lady sitting next to him fired a volley of questions at me and finally asked me to write a letter addressed to the lib or something like that I don’t quiet remember, explaining to them as to how I lost my lib card and requesting them for a new one. Isn’t that ridicules! Writing a letter about how I lost a card that doesn’t really exist! I can’t help but to wonder how things would have turned out if I just told the truth. Why do I do these things?
Anyways I am sleeping and if I get a new lib card you guys will be the first to know . . .
Good night . . .
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