Something I wrote a couple of minutes back. Please leave any comments if this means anything to you. Thank you.
PS: yeah its crap after all I wrote it :)
sometimes when rain strikes hard
unbending determined velocity
i look from the window
everything appears distorted
but the window itself is clear
clarity found only when
rain strikes hard
Wrote this thinking of something I did long back. Something strong people don't do. Was I strong? Or was I ever strong? Am I weak now or still strong?
What is weakness and strength anyways? It is subjective, isn't it? I don't know if my definitions of weakness and strength are correct but I feel weak. Maybe I am not . . . who really cares anyways –
Last smile in the lonely glow
Crickets make music as I flow
Beats so slow
I feel so slow
Or maybe no
Hope to never know
Steel silence . . . I am no more
First impression – rude! Mean! Loud! And I should probably mention MEAN! Well that was pretty much what I felt when I first made friends with her almost two years back. I didn't like her and now she is my second sis after Swathi (in order of adoption).
She is a person who has always yelled at me when I have said stupid things (stupid only to her), always reassured me when I have doubted myself and in general she makes life seem less scary. She is my youngest sis (a year younger) and therefore my baby sis. However I don't really feel like her older brother! I think that's because she protects me and makes me feel face and also because she is louder than me! Is that fair? What kind of a baby sis is she! I ask her for small things like . . . maybe a ceremonious bow accompanied by touching my feet and following my every instruction like the Japanese army did their king during world war two! Is that so much to ask for? She refuses my small requests and goes to the extent of saying, 'DA! There is only 11months difference.' If this is not insulting enough she even bosses me around!
To better explain this injustice –
The scene is taking place in the, ''mess'' (a hospital canteen near our college that we sometimes go to for lunch or tea). Typically its Sushmita (ma baby sis), Nirmal, Ankita and me. However to get a better understanding I am focusing on only our conversation (Sushmita and me).
(Before ordering)
Sushmita (Sush): hey da what do you want?
Siddarth (me): nothin…
Sush: (with a firm angry face) shut up and take something!
Me: fine . . . hmmm . . . I will take rava idly.
Sush: ok
(if its lunch time)
No! That's not enough.
Me: but . . . I . . .
Sush: your taking meals (places the order or asks Nirmal to place the order)
Well three things are clear from the above illustration –
I give you full liberty to form your own conclusions.
What I truly admire (and am very thankful for) about her (and a lot of other people for that matter in my life) is her ability to put up with me! I can get really annoying. I am moody, very moody. I can go from happy to cold in 0.37 sec (acceleration that no modern sports cars can beat, though with ever improving technology I could be wrong). My signature style is to walk away and pretend no body exists. I walk away. I think that is my . . . hey we are not talking about me here so lets get back, yes I remember 'ignoring' her a great deal whenever I was pissed with her (I have gone up to two weeks!). I have really bugged her but in the end all is forgiven. We are siblings after all. I sometimes wish she was my biological sis but later I realized it would not make any difference. Things are already perfect as they are. In the end blood isn't the only thing that determines family, its also love, don't u agree?
Sis, I hope the best for you and wish u have a wonderful and productive year ahead.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS! :)
NOTE: for some reason the date shows 2nd april even though i am posting it on the 3rd of april. her birthday is on the 3rd of april. stupid blogger! :(
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