Read the previous post!

This post was supposed to be out long back. Two months back to be precise. But the protagonist was busy, or at least appeared busy.

The last post didn’t make sense and this is suppose to bring in some clarity on the previous ramblings. And incoherent sentences that made up the previous post.

I was sitting in class when my teacher said it would be a nice idea if one of us could go to Bijapur and write a report on floods that devastated the place. To his surprise, one student volunteered and then another one, and so it was set that the two of them would go.

After the class was over, my friends (the two that volunteered) asked me if i would like to tag long with them and after a lot of thought I agreed. I immediately called up my dad to ask for permission but unfortunately for me, he dad had other ideas. He put his foot down and said NO! After pleading with him for an hour or so he finally agreed. Yippppppe! :)

My friends and me left for Bijapur that night and reached only at 11 am the next morning.

Our plan was simple, visit two villages and write our report based on the information we collect there. Overall the experience was good as it gave us some exposure with what was happening outside, (i at least felt so because my comfortable life in Bangalore city is like living in a shell – oblivious to everything that is happening outside).

There were many stories of loss and heartache but one story that gripped me was the case of this elderly lady that took a loan and built her house. The heavy rains destroyed the house leaving her with a debt for something that no longer existed.

Thankfully no one was serious injured or killed in the villages we visited but these terrible floods claimed hundreds of lives in the affected states (mainly Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh, in Southern India).

I could also like to thank Father Jerry, Brother Balraj and all the members of CNFE (Centre for Non Formal Education) as if it wasn't for their guidance and support, we wouldn't have been able to bring out our article. They not only fed us and gave us a place to rest, but they also took us to the two villages. No report would have come out in our college paper if it wasn't for them.

Some of the pics i clicked can be found here.
http://picasaweb.google.com/siddarthgokul/BijapurFloods#

off to wet Bijapur!

6 - 7 Phone calls later and 15 - 20 pleases later i finally lot permission to go to Bijapur. I am hard pressed for time so gotta run! will update when I am back!

Situation at home is chaotic! i just realised how under prepared and pampered i am! my friend was right, i am, "a spoiled brat!".

Gotta run!

I am a Basset Hound it seems...

What Dog Breed Are You?
	You are a Basset Hound. You are a hard worker, but a little slow. You don't catch on to things very quickly. Not only this, but you are also afraid of doing some things. You don't like to be taken out of your comfort zone, but will usually do as asked.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Weird updates 2399

Interesting Bengali Food

I had lunch at K.C.Das today, a Bengali sweet and snack shop that's located on the intersection between St Mark's Road and Church Street. It's a nice place for three reasons - reasonable prices, good food and nice decor (I like the minimalist look).

For lunch I had a paneer cutlet, poori with dal and potato curry and of course the famous K.C.Das Sweet curds!
The paneer cutlet was excellent and it tasted especially nice with the tamarind sauce. What I liked about this cutlet was the lightness of it. It's crust was thin and the whole cutlet itself felt light. If you are used to the regular cutlets we get in Bangalore, like me, you will know what I am talking about. The cutlet was also quiet bland and it might not be to everybody's liking but i loved it! The pooris were next. The pooris at K.C.Das where thinner and crispier than the usual pooris we get in most darshinis in the south. The pooris were also quiet pale; i like to call them albino pooris! Anyways, regardless of color they tasted great and where complimented with the thick dal and potato curry. The dal was also excellent and it was slightly sweetish which i liked. The potato curry was quiet good too, but the dal was the start here! Finally I finished it off with a cup of sweet curds which I very much relished.

Total bill – 50 (40 for the food + 10 bucks tips)
That's pretty reasonable and in fact cheap considering the location (St marks road is at the heart of the city) and the nice air conditioned ambiance.

A paan at the popular Maghai paanwalla, next to kohsy's restaurant would have been a perfect end to the perfect meal but the idiot didn't have any change! I think he expected me to go and get change and if he taught i was desperate enough to go and search for change, then he was right! Unfortunately none of the close by shops had change so I went back to college pan-less :(

I believe in angels


After the nice satisfying and sprite lifting lunch I walked back to college and got hold of my classmates I had to cover a talk on 'local welfare in the global context' (for the college paper). Anyways the funny part was i had to walk back to the very same road i went out for lunch in. Walked on the same road four times today actually – once while going out for lunch, going back to college (to get my classmate) and walking back to that road to find the place my classmate had to go to listen to the seminar and then back again to college passing that same road! The talk we were supposed to cover was going on in a hotel in St Marks road and we didn't know where it was exactly except for the fact that it was on this road! So i was asking directions and suddenly this girl comes up to me and this follows -

Girl – Hey (with a concerned smile) your from Joseph's right?

ME – yeah... (with a puzzled yet annoyed tone, puzzled because i was wondering why some random person walked up to me and told me she was from my college and annoyed because i was in the middle of a conversation with an auto driver trying to find out where this dam place was!)


Girl – no ... because i am also from Joseph's. (sounding quiet calm and friendly)

Me – oooooook (was really trying to find out what the hell she was trying to get at because i had a route to fig out!)

Girl – what are u doing here actually?

Me – I ... a ... actually ... do you know where this place is? (shows her the newspaper with the address)

Girl – no because i went to my aunty's house for lunch and i saw you walking around and now you are still here (she said this with what appears to be genuine concern. I have a strange feeling she taught i was a madman of sorts! Sigh...)

ME – Hey! I came were for lunch and then went back to college and brought my classmate along. (pointing to the girl sitting on the half wall) I have to cover a seminar for the college paper. I'm from the mass communication department.

Girl – Oh... anyways show me the address... ya well im not sure but it is on this road itself.

Me – Hey anyways thanks... i will find it (and i gave her a friendly smile)

Girl – Ok then. (polity nods and gives me a smile and walks off.)

Meanwhile my classmate was sitting on a half wall quiet some distance anyway, conveniently away from all this! I walk up and tell her about this bizarre encounter! She laughs and we begin to formulate search methods to find the blessed place! A minute later the girl comes back to where we were and tells us she asked some people and gives us directions to the place! I was so touched with the little gesture of kindness and we were grateful to her for doing our work!


She appeared like an angel and when I think about it, small doses of kindness do a lot. She really made my afternoon. Even now after a hard and tiring evening, (got blasted by my teacher and when i came home we had to clear some stuff cause of a new bed and stuff), i still get a smile when i think about the angel that surly thought I was a madman! If there were more people like her I'm sure the world would have been a better place.

'Twinkle Lamp'

Found an old lamp and i think it looks pretty cool! I always wanted a lava lamp, and this technically isn't a lava lamp but it's still nice. Looks especially grand in the dark!



clicked a bunch of photos and used picasa to create this collage.



would love to hear your comment! as for me, i shall be off to bed now!

Bernanke: recession ‘very likely over’, Me: recession ‘already a thing of the past!’

The associated press on Tuesday, 15^th September brought out a report which quoted Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernanke, saying that the recession was technically over. The report went on to say that though the recession is over, it's after effects will still be felt for a couple of months or maybe a year. This also seems to mirror the views of other eminent people like economist and other top academicians.

I disagree with all these people! We are like totally outta this recession stuff! These guys are just trying to mess with our psyche because they know that their power stems from our fear. Look at most of these economist guys, who the hell gives a dam about these people anyways? Not me, that’s for sure! And you guys too wouldn't really give a dam, it's just now because of all the gloom and dome recession talk is that we have elevated these economists to near god like levels (and to some they have become god itself!). If there was no recessions we wouldn't be worried about these people, we would instead be worried about stuff like what Katrina Kaif thinks about Salman and about some dude that's impersonating her on twitter, John Abraham's love affair with his bikes, if Sushmita and Lara hate each other or not, etc, etc and etc!

Guess you guys know what i'm getting at. Finally, the most conclusive evidence that proves recession is finally over -

An ad i found in a bus. In case the pic isn't very legiable, it says -

"Earn 40,000 in three months, no work, no conditions apply..."

People are willing to offer you a job where you do nothing and yet earn 40,000 in three months! I mean come on! Does it sound like something you will find in a recession hit economy? There are employers out there who are willing to pay you to do nothing! If you doubt the authencity of the ad, you are a fool! It is totally legit! Why u ask? Well here are the reasons -

1. It's an ad that is pasted on top of the bus's window so it can't be lies. BMTC will never allow fake ads to be pasted in buses!

2. A telephone number is given on the ad and nobody will simply give out their telephone numbers if they are lying now will they?

3. They have very clearly said no conditions apply, and have specified the time in which the 40,000 can be amassed. Therefore the sheer number of details provided proves that the ad cannot be fake!

Hope you guys out there have a nice, recession free dasara ahead!

The articles on Katrina, John and Sushmita and Lara that i know you guys are dying to read about!

http://entertainment.oneindia.in/bollywood/news/2009/katrina-lazy-salman-impersonator-170909.html

http://entertainment.oneindia.in/bollywood/news/2009/john-abraham-married-170909.html

http://sify.com/movies/fullstory.php?id=14910680

The article on recession that i know none of you guys will be interested in reading!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090915/ap_on_bi_ge/us_bernanke

Picture album

Finally I decided to create a WEB ALBUM! To view it please click on the 'Experiments with light' button.

As of now there are two albums -

A Block Adventures 02

These pictures were taken way back when I just completed my PUC.

The pics you see in this album are pictures me and my friend clicked on our old college's roof top. We were not allowed up there but we were always fascinated by it. Everything about the roof fascinated us, the Spartan metal dome and the curiosity of what treasures might lie inside, we wondered how the world would look from there and finally the fact that it was forbidden lured our rebellious adolescent minds. We planned and plotted and when we were leaving college we felt bold enough to defy the rules!

At the time there were also strong rumours that the building was going to be demolished because of some structural problems. I never believed it but sadly seven years later they began demolishing the 84yr old building. When the building was finally brought down, sometime in May 2009, I realised how much that building meant to me. It was a place that kept us cool in the harsh summer, it was a place where i laughed, fought, got punished, made friends and most importantly learnt a lot about the world and its people.

The building was called the ‘A block’ and was part of the rich heritage of St Joseph's College.

Bombay Trip 05


Some snaps of my Bombay vacation, 2005.


Hope to be uploading some more pics later on.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

I remember spending endless amounts of time playing with 'G.I. Joe' action figures. It was something I couldn't fathom my childhood without. It was a rite of passage and every one of my friends had the action figures. Naturally, nostalgia and excitement were my primary emotions when I heard the movie was coming out, like most G.I Joe fans I am sure!

The movie bears a very simple plot; bad guys who want to take over the world and good guys that will do everything humanly (and un-humanly) possible to stop them.

'M.A.R.S' an international weapons dealer has just created the deadliest weapon called 'nanomites', which are basically some sort of robotic termites that can eat anything in its path. This weapon is unlike anything that the world has ever seen and therefore top security is given to the weapon. Unfortunately however the people who were supposed to get the weapons never do! A terrorist organisation gets a hold of the weapon and uses it to arm twist various governments. Thus the movie takes its viewers to the very beginning of 'Cobra', an international terrorist organisation that would put all real world terror outfits to shame.

The action sequences and special effects are spectacular to say the least. If you are a kind of person that likes a lot of eye candy and fast paced action this is definitely made for you.

'Snake eyes' is another reason to watch this flick. He is cold, fast and a connoisseur of close combat techniques. In my opinion he is the best G.I. Joe has to offer. 'Storm Shadow' of 'Cobra' is also equally impressive and the whole rivalry between the two is very well portrayed and the most entertaining part of the movie.

If you take away the special effects and the above mentioned characters, you get an 'I have seen in before action flick', emotionally unrealistic characters, a predictable storyline and bad humour.

Final verdict
Watch it for the action sequences and the 'Snake Eyes Vs Storm Shadow' bits, because that is all this movie has to offer. G.I Joe fans will be especially disappointed.


This is the movie review i gave my teacher (ref to last post). She said it was ok, but i needed to del the first para.

Tests from tomorrow... and my funeral! L

Hot coffee and ramblings at midnight

I have stuff to write. Three reviews, one on a movie, a play and a book to be precise. I have managed to press a sufficient amount of buttons on the keyboard and some sort of a fairly coherent passage about G.I Joe has come to life. To say it is the most perfectly articulated article of a person’s opinion cum analysis of a movie till date would be like calling Nusrat Ali an incapable sufi singer, i shall say no more about the movie review. I can almost see my teacher passing out after reading my so called review. Poor thing, she will be devastated!

Speaking of Nusrat Ali, i am listening to him on you tube as i’m writing this blog post. He is outstanding and his band is doing a fantastic job of adding to the richness of Mr Nusrat's voice. I like the tabla the most and of course Mr. Nusrat’s high notes!



Listen to him if ur interested and even if ur not interested, please do listen! I am sure u will like it J
oh and a million thanks to Mr. Arul Mani, a lecturer in the English dept of St joseph’s college and the leader of Whats ur beef, for introducing me to Nusrat's music.

Whats ur beef! - It is a clandestine society that has dedicated its existence towards understanding the phenomena we cal film. We also eat chicken ‘momos’ (except the lone non-carnivorous member), tea (iced, masala, we like it all), sandwitches, etc, etc and etc! We basically love food and movies, but mostly food! We meet every Friday. I can't attend next Friday's discussion and hogging session because i have tests... suxs....

My coffee is almost over and the rusk i was munching is finished too and i am too lazy to go and get more! Oh and I had an interesting discussion with a friend. It was about love and she asked me what i thought about love and all i could say was, “its unreal, a fraud our mind commits, to give us a reason to hide our most primal needs.” Do i really believe that? Probably not, but then again who knows what i believe any more. No i am serious, is there anybody who can tell me what i believe, because i definitely don’t! Mean while, the author of this post who firmly believes he is over the person he once had affectionate ties with, wonders why he can’t seem to get her out of his everyday stream of thoughts. The author will also go on to deny any attachment to that person and will also tell u that such a thought is absurd but secretly be minded pricked by thoughts of that person. Is there anybody who can tell me what i believe, because i definitely don’t!

Beliefs are weird! They make us do crazy things, some of us will die for them, other will kill for them and some will just do bizarre things because them. Like right now i believe my teacher is going to forget about the review so i am going to write it later. Beliefs are weird... they make us do really bizarre things.

An ode to hope

An ode to hope

I wonder where you went away,

are you truly dead?

or lost to us all?

either way you cease to exist.

even now that you have gone,

your spirit still lingers long,
i still,

feel you in the Internationale,

hear you in a child's laugh,

see you in spring’s blossom.

and i know most believe your still alive,

but I know it’s a beautiful lie,
why did you go away?
leaving us all astray.

I wonder where you went to die,

in desperation I search every kind eye,

look what i have become,

a mendicant now,
here without hope.

in desperation,

I looked for you in the Styx,

in flowing death,

wishing to find,

remnants of your life,

and

I looked for you in Rishikesh,

in flowing life,

wishing to find,

remnants of your death,
i wonder where you went to die.

hope’s last fleeting steps,

across desolate mindscape,

my last memory,

of the great immortal,

infected with mortality.

i wonder where you went to die

i know why you went to die

I wrote this three days back and reworked it today. Something is off here and i'm not happy with this one :( unfortunately I seem to be getting progressively worse instead of getting better. sigh...


OH! and please leave comments
love it or hate it I sooooooooo wanna know!

Weird updates 2579

New layout

‘The problem with your blog is that it is not appealing’ said my classmate and he is right. It is unappealing both visually and content wise. In an attempt to fix the latter I downloaded a template and i hope you guys like it.

A shout out to my buddy!
you guys can check out my classmate’s blog here - http://adnupgrade.blogspot.com/



broken, lonely, defeated and dead....

Today on the 25^th of July, my phone, a Nokia n70, has ceased to exist. After battling for her life in a Nokia ‘care’ centre.

Someone very dear to me no longer exists and every time i look at her blank screen and once lively keys I begin to realise the futility of life.
All the moments we shared together will always be edged in my mind but alas they will be the last.



Rest in Peace
you shall be truly missed....



my new class

just facts – no lies.

masters in communication, St Josephs

number of people: 30

number of acquaintances: 9

number of friends: 0

number of people i would like to be friends with: 10

number of people that i like (but haven’t gotten to know): 2

number of people that i love: 0

number of people i dislike: 3

number of people that dislike me: 22

number of people i hate: 0

number of people that hate me: 8




new posts that might come up -

1. my view on life
2. A poem i have been meaning to write

I should be in bed!

Its past 1:30 and I just finished an assignment that is due today! It was given to me seven days back and I had all the time in the world to leisurely work on it. Naturally I was pretty mad at myself at first but I later realised that it isn't really my fault, it's just Parkinson's Law; Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.


Anyways
I should be going to sleep now! Before i end this post i would like to share a 'poem' i wrote. Now it's just as bad if not worse that my other 'poems' but it is a little different in terms of style (or lack of it!)

Cliff facing the world,
an uncaged eagle,
perched, endless possibilities,
the world before it,
my broken wing you do not see.

"fly away to any corner,
the world is yours,
yours to make of it,
fly away to any corner."
obnoxious wisdom and shallow care.
my broken wing you do not see?

"bid farewell to the old way
come on now fly away
onward!
onward you shall go!
you shall not retreat
you shall know no fear
in his name all shall fly"
the glint in his eyes
the only illusion that he is alive
my broken wing you do not see?
"cowardice"
my broken wing you do not see!

where do i fly now?
sun down is long away.
"the moon shall bring you no peace,
fly away,
i shall watch you all the way."
blind pillars of hope,
i bid u farewell,
my broken wing you do not see.

how do i say the ineffable?
"you were born to fly,
don't mind the tempest,
stay strong,
calm, after vile storms, how is that wrong."
how do i say the ineffable?
when you see what you say?
my broken wing how can you see?




LOVE IT
OR
HATE IT
ME WANNA KNOW!

leave comments, thank you :)

Freakin thought of the day!!!

I started my cat classes almost a month ago, (this should have been another post but i'm just too lazy) but that's unimportant. My class room is basically somebody else's class room during the day time as it's a school which is used in the evening time by a tutorial company. Like most classrooms especially for the little ones the board is filled with all sorts of mambo-jumbo that are supposedly meant to inspire and motivate our young minds. One way is to put out a 'thought for the day' which is usually a proverb of some sorts. Now today's proverb really pushed my buttons! Not only is it completely untrue, it also inspires one to do things that one should not be doing! Today's thought for the day to the little ones over at that school is – 'failure is the key to success'. Wow! I mean really, WOW! Calling it a lie will be very magnanimous on my part. Seriously, there are lies and there is stuff like this that is just so far-fetched from reality. I can tell you guys with at most confidence that failure does not unlock any door to success! In fact if that was true a huge door would open for me, complete with a red carpet, a live band, scores of cheering fans, reporters and a fancy escort! Kids would jubilantly proclaim, 'when i grow up i want to be a failure just like him!' girls would cry, 'why can't all men fail like him! He drives me crazy!' Heck if failure was a key to success then the doors to success wouldn't open for me; they would shatter as i walk towards them! Does this happen? No, it does not! Not even in my dreams (and i indulge in a lot of dreaming)! No kid in their right mind would want to grow up to be like me and no girl in her right mind would ever want to be with me! So folks what does it prove? It proves that the freakin proverb is a load of bullshit propagated by a teacher that hates his/her students!

P:S – another updated is due regarding my college and stuff but i'm procrastinator, lord of all lazydom!

You know that ad....?

There is an ad, an ad i tell ya!!!!

There is this new GNIIT advertisement and it really bugs the hell outta me! The ad is not that bad except the last few seconds which make my blood boil! These last few seconds features the protagonist (an, "i'm so pretty and smart and ur not and i can get a job and u can't and i have a merit certificate and u don't and i'm thin and ur not and i'm fair and have nice skin and ur don't and i'm gonna become famous and successful and ur not" expression face carrying girl!), smirking at the camera and walking into the interview with all confidence! She is walking into the interview as if she has already got the job. That smile makes me wanna beat the living shit outta her! If one were to verbalise that smile it would say – 'hey there loser! Watch me walking into a life of opportunity that u can never ever enter. *Evil laugh!* you are such a pathetic loser!

I bet your wondering why I hate that ad so much. I have no clue myself. After all here I am sitting with an unstable mind, a nearly worthless degree and a body that feels like it attached to a potato sack and that belligerent idiot box is showing me everything that i dream off but know I can't achieve. Hmmm really, I wonder what it could be; I wonder why that ad troubles me so much. Could it be jealously? Nah... that's just crazy talk. So why do I find this ad so repulsing? Well I don't know and I think this is one of those mysteries like the Bermuda triangle that can never ever be solved. At present I am contemplating evil aliens using the idiot box to make me feel useless so that I turn to their evil agent in disguise (the GNIIT leader) for help, thus becoming a pawn in their army of useless people which they are going to use to destroy the world! Put that's just a theory my brain's conspiracy and paranoia dept is circulating. There is however no real proof of a malfeasant alien organisation with plans of annihilating our planet. So as of now it's just a theory. If this mystery is solved you guys will be the first to know!

I present to you the ad -

A singing desk trinket

Today was such a tiring day. It may sound silly to you guys but I went in search of a cute little radio that I saw at a novelty gift store some three years back! Why would I want such a thing you ask? Well basically I like radio but don't listen to a lot of it because my room doesn't have a radio. Anyways I went around my city's shopping district but it was of no avail! I didn't find what I was looking for and I'm starting to resent my past self for not buying the radio!
I went from shop to shop looking for the radio but didn't find it moreover the afternoon sun was meaner to me than usual which made the whole experience frustrating and tiresome. I walked into another novelty shop in one of Bangalore's most popular mall. I was at this point rather edgy and fast reaching breaking point. 'Excuse me' I said to the manager looking at him straight in the eye, 'do you have a radio? An FM radio, you know the colourful ones you normally stock?' 'hmmm... No...' he said nonchalantly and if this wasn't infuriating enough he added, 'we don't keep them, it comes in sometimes.. not sure when we get them...' I was enraged by his pugnacious placidity! I mean here I was, dehydrated and delirious from going to all those shops and he was absolutely apathetic to my plight! I taught of giving him a well placed shot to the nose with just enough force to break the cartilage inside, I thought that his disfigured nose will serve as a reminder that customers should always be treated with respect. I even envisioned a bright new future for him for this, 'smack with destiny' will infuse in him godlike salesmanship qualities and he could quickly move up the corporate ladder, become rich and one day in an interview he would merit his success to a disgruntle customer A.K.A moi! Unfortunately for him I was still sort of socially conscious, so instead of giving him a life changing, nose altering, blow to the face I said, 'Ah...I see... OK then.' it was with these pathetic words that I left the store and walked towards my favourite cafe. As I dinned on scrambled eggs and coffee I wondered if I had done a great disservice to the gentleman. I held within my hands the opportunity to change someone's life but I let it slip cause of decency and all the good crap. I'm rather disappointed at myself but life has taught me that it's rather foolish dwelling on the past, instead I must look at the future and never let an opportunity like this slip... never again should I let an opportunity like this slip!


P.S
does anybody know where I can get a cute radio (by a cute radio I mean a nicely shaped and colourful radio) in Bangalore city? Even an online seller will do, please leave it in the comments (if at all I have any readers that is!)

Also - this post as been written in Google docs and this in my first post from a Linux desktop! (I had to say this, however irrelevant it may seem!)

Love Letter...

If I were to be paid in gold for all the nights I spend dreaming of you it would be enough to bring a smile on every starving face in this planet.

I wished for you and it was a desire to be with you but gradually like the shifting of seasons my simple desire morphed into a need.
I need u – it is such a simple three worded sentence but its depth is beyond logical comprehension, to understand it is impossible, one must feel it, only then will it all make sense. I sit here and wait, I hear you are approaching and it saddens me that you embrace those that have no love for you. I say this not out of jealousy but out of concern. Leave them my love they don't know you and will never understand you, no one will understand you like I do. My love for you is as fierce as wolf on a hunt, desperate for a meal, desperate for survival.

I have cried and spelt so much tears that have now long since dried, meaningless to the world, but in each I can vouch with my soul, that it carried not my sadness but your sadness, the sadness of not being accepted, of being feared and hated. In their madness and rage they have labelled you the enemy. Is this what you want?

I know you too want to be accepted and I am the only one who will. How long will u deny this? We shall meet one day and I am confident of that. We shall meet and you will understand I was made for you as the earth was made for life. You will know I am the one and there will be no discourse, no reasoning, it will be understood and in an instant we shall be one.

You reached my home land, influenza A virus subtype H1N1, you are close and still searching, I say this with all hope and goodwill – "let your search end in me!"

Yours always influenza, forever and ever....

I am writing this letter to swine flu, hope she reads this and finds me fast.... I can wait no longer....

Weird updates!

I'm gonna start a series called, 'weird updates!' - It is basically small random happenings in my life that i feel are blog worthy, in other words it is a cheap attempt at filling up my blog! :-P

Election time in India! It is a special time, A time of giving and taking, if u know wat i mean ;-) A time when most people become political conscious, even those that don't really give a dam about politics. I am happy to say that a relatively higher voter turnout is expected with quite a few new voters.

I voted too, my first vote to the national parliamentary elections! :) and yes the ugly finger is mine :(

Now i can understand people getting touchy about politics but animals too???
My pooch Mudsey (black) tore a party's promotional pamphlet to bits (they usually distribute these pamphlets at every door step during elections)! No joke! And two days later when another party's pamphlet was thrown at my door step he didn't even touch it. My dog is strange... even he has become political!

I had a hard time deciding which pic i was gonna use so i'm putting up both!
The brown and white fox terrier is Sonu and the other is our very own political pooch Mudsey! :D

Here is a non political update –
A clandestine war has begun between me and the departmental store clerk! My dad gave me a meal card – its basically a debit card but meant only for food and groceries and stuff, like the sodexho food coupons but in a card form. Anyways the shop has this rule which forbids the use of this card for items below INR100. I didn't really care about this rule; I used the card mainly when heavy shopping was involved for household items. Recently, like a few months back, the govt introduced this rule which forbids the use of this card for a value higher than INR100 a day (their argument was its a meal card and not meant for casual shopping so they fixed the amount for two meals of INR50 each). What does that mean for a shopper with this card at that departmental store? Well in order to use this card I got to buy goods for an amount exactly that of INR100 because the shop people are too stupid to revoke their dumbass rule! HOW THE HELL CAN I KEEP BUYING GOODS WORTH EXACTLY INR100 all the time when I want to use this card? The clerk is a real idiot too, here is a sample conversation between me and that clerk (let's call him a moron cause I don't know the moron's name)

Me: please charge it on my card.
Moron: (gives me an dull gaze which quickly turns into a frown) can accept the card only for items above 100rs.
ME: u can't use the card for an amount above 100, it is a new govt rule.
Moron: our rules are there... (i can tell from his dull appearance that there is absolutely no brain activity whatsoever)
ME: do one thing try billing the card for an amount higher than 100 bucks, do one thing charge my card with 120bucks.
Moron: (swipes the card in the machine and keys in the account number) it say invalid amount.
ME: Ya I told u, it will not accept an amount higher than 100 so please accept the card.
Moron: our rules are there....
ME: how do u expect me to use this card? If the govt says something and you say something else wat am i to do?
Moron: yes i know, but our shop's rule is there...
ME: I can speak to ur manager and explain things out if u want?
Moron: ok ok... (Takes my card and swipes it)
Me: look i can tell ur manager and sort it out i have no issues.
Moron: ok ok
ME: (i sign the bill and walk off victorious!)

This exchange of words will happen again when i want to use the card... and i never get to see the manager so that i can get the shops rule changed... Sigh...
But I refuse to back down! I will not give up! I will use the card! My will, is unwavering, no amount of wind can move the mountain. Let it howl the loudest, let wave after wave of morons scream, the solid edifice of justice that stands erect in our hearts cannot be broken. Blood shall be spilt and people will get hurt... it is war after all and war is grotesque, but make no mistake, MAKE NO MISTAKE AT ALL; I am fully committed to the cause and not afraid of any repercussions. In this time of injustice and mostly stupidity, i will rise to counter any opposition from the likes of my enemy, Moron.
HOOOOOOOOOOORAAAAA!
DEATH!... or at least extreme annoyance... TO THE ENEMY!
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


Until the next update, cya blogger! :P

Smile like u mean it

just wish me luck.

getting closer, can't see it

sensing it with none of my senses,

my heart beats in tandem,

with the devil himself,

i hear the whispers,

"don't fight it,

don't run,

it will be over soon,

just smile like u mean it,

smile and say goodbye"

i hear the whispers,

i hear it,

as it constricts my chest,

this blanket,

of needles and venom,

warmth in frigid reality.

it was on nights like this,

i remembered,

how much i fought,

to see sense in the system,

i tried to see the light,

sometimes i saw it ur in smile,

but, it was unreal too,

in desperation i tried,

to be with u all,

to be without u all.

blood glides gracefully

away from the being it fuels.

i hear the familiar tune,

its the songbird.

it will never change.

playing over and over,

the same song ,

till it finds peace,

or finds itself in pieces.

just wish me luck,

it is coming and i have no voice,

not my will,

just my need,

i need to be free,

i need to feel,

like the person,

in those beautiful,

pictures – flawless.

and now i hear it

i hear the whispers

"don't fight it,

don't run,

it will be over soon,

just smile like u mean it,

smile and say goodbye"

i hear the whispers,

i hear it,

and i feel fear,

i feel alone,

wishing for peace,

as unreal as ur smile.

Just something i wrote. I don't really like this one, not like i love my other 'poems' (if u can call them that!) but this one i particularly don't like. I'm posting this cause i have nothing else to post!

please leave comments –

love it

or

hate it

i wanna hear it!

I am still alive!

September 26^th, 2008 – that is the date of my last blog entry. A lot of time as passed between that day and now, approximately 5 months, and so many things have changed. A lot of which i just don't wanna remember and I have tried my best to bury those memories but unfortunately there are stupid little people who live in my head who wield a lot of power. They are so powerful that my cerebrum functions on their dictates. Seriously! I am not crazy! When i really can do without remembering those memories those people hit the play button and it starts off in brilliant high definition quality! Stupid people! Anyways i am not going to rant about my problems and depress the few readers i have (see i am not such a cruel person after all). I will instead delicate this post to answering a question that I am often asked.

Why are you an atheist? / why don't you pray? / why don't you believe in god? and best one is – HOW CAN U NOT BELIEVE IN A GOD!?!?! and etc, etc, etc...
Now technically it is not one question but they all basically mean the same thing. Anyways enough of stalling, I will get on with the purpose of this post.

Agnostic Atheist

It is first important to know what the two terms (agnostic and atheist) mean for this purpose i will quote the oxford advanced learners dictionary –

Agnostic – a person who believes that it is not possible to know whether god exists or not.

Atheist – a person who believes that god does not exist.

Now there is a difference between the two, one says that we can never know if there is a god or not and the other says that there is no god. i am an agnostic atheist which is basically a mixture of two terms that mean completely different things, confused? I sound like some crazy person right? Well I might be a terribly confused person but I am not crazy! Ok I am a little crazy ... maybe completely crazy but anyways this isn't a debate about my sanity so let's get back to the issue at hand. Now I am an atheist when it comes to god as defined by most religions (the popular definition of god), that is, a supernatural being that is omnipotent (all powerful), omnipresent (being everywhere) and omniscience (having knowledge of everything). God is also the embodiment of everything that is perfect and good. It is this definition of god that I am atheistic about because to me such a being does not exist. 'Why?' you ask, well one will just have to look at the world and all its problems. Now the theist will say that is god's way of punishing man for all his sins. Now my counter to this argument is what about little children who are born into a world that is so brutal like some African nations where there is absolutely no regard for human rights. For example let us take Uganda, where a civil war has gripped the country for so many decades. I remember seeing a report on Oprah Winfrey which showed how little boys and girls were taken away by rebel soldiers. The girls were used as sex slaves and the boys were trained to fight and mostly used as cannon fodder. What possible explanation can one give? This is just one tiny example, what about the millions of other evil things that are going on in this world? What about religions oppression, like the caste system in my country for example were people are oppressed just because they are born into a family which is considered 'inferior' based on some absurd believes and what about religious wars or what I like to cal religious violence were men and women blow themselves in the name of god? One could go on and on but what I am trying to say is that the over simplistic view that this is god's way of punishing sinners just doesn't make sense to me.

There are questions that need answers and it is here that religion as a big advantage in the sense that one can understand the reason for it's mass appeal. Questions like the origins of the universe for example. The big bang theory has answered some questions but it is still not completely clear about a lot of things. Now I am no math wiz and my physics is limited to – if you throw an object upward the force of gravity will bring it downward. Therefore I am not trying to critique the big bang theory but I will raise one issue – the big bang is not completely clear about the events that transpired before the big bang and also about how all the matter came to be (the various elements that make up our universe). This is where the theist can say, 'HA! I got you there! Let's see you try and answer that with all your fancy science!' well I got to conceit defeat there, i have no answer and even people who are vastly superior to me have no answer, but my retort is simple, 'neither do you!' Sure they can say god created everything but proof? In this regard science and religion have reached a very frustrating stalemate! One can label me a pessimist (which I very much am) but I see no end to this stalemate, as the human mind has a lot of limitations that will keep us from fully understanding these complex questions.

Now we step into the agnostic part of Sid (assuming anyone even got to this point as this is arguably one of the longest and most boring things I have ever written!). I have earlier expressed how i am atheistic about most forms of god or at least the popular forms of god. However there are other definitions that are more liberal and less confining which i find interesting. Some define god as a universal force or cosmic energy that really can't be explained or even experienced. It is not a very clear definition of god but a person once told me if you find it difficult to understand don't use the term god, instead substitute it with energy or a mysterious force which we as humans will never know. My agnostic side is the confused side which says that one can really never rule out anything and that nothing can be proven for sure in this regard. It is also the open minded part of me which accepts that i can never know the truth but having said that i also have a bold claim which is – neither can anyone else know the truth.

My friend (who is a theist by the way) gave me an interesting quotation from the Hindu scriptures, from a book called Taittiriya
Upanishad section Siksha Valli to be precise, which says –

Mother is god,

Father is god,

Guru (teacher) is god,

And she added, 'these are the only forms of god we can experience after all!'

Am I happy being an agnostic atheist? Do I ever want to change?

Well being what I am is only my natural response - this is what I am because this is the only thing I can be. Am I happy? I really don't know how to answer that question. I am certainly not sad about being an agnostic atheist if that is what the people who asked me this question meant. However sometimes it is hard to be alone because every person I care about is a theist and I am very different – wow I just admitted to feeling a little left out! However there are people that care about me regardless of this difference and I lead a pretty normal life so ya I am not sad one bit about being what I am. However I sometimes feel that my social life would have been better if I was a theist (however it should be noted that my not so good social life or lack of it, might also be because of my obnoxious behaviour at times and my uncanny knack at irritating people beyond permissible limits at the worst possible time!).

Change – for this there are only two possible if's

1. If somehow the existence of god
   is proven then I will have to definitely have to become a theist as not believing in something that exists is absurd (I can picture some of your guys laughing at me already)
   
2. If
   I can have
   faith. This is something I don't have and you can even say it is a deficiency I have but that's the fact. I remember once seeing a child, a girl who was probably no more than 4, kneel down and look at an idol of Ganesha with so much devotion. I really wonder sometimes what went on in her mind, was she really aware of what she was doing, did she expect something, I just don't know, but the point is I can never be like that, faith is something I just don't possess.
   

I really don't see any of those things happening so i may never change (note I used the word 'may' - I am really confusing right?)

Now I have tried my best to make myself as clear as possible and I hope to have succeeded in answering the question and also more importantly I hope I haven't bored my readers or reader (which is more likely the case) to death!

Hope all this rambling made sense and I really hope to be hearing from you, please feel free to leave comments, I would love to hear anything you guys have to say and I stress again on ANYTHING!